Friday, 7 December 2007

RW Intrudes

Well I've managed to be home for a week. Not that I've managed to get much housework done, with earning a living. I did try on Wednesday, but received a ph call from a neighbor who was having a Kirby Vac demo, they would not do the demo without a second person in the house. So I went over. No neither of us brought a Vac, I mean come on. 3000 for a vac! Yes they are great vacuums, but neither of us could warrant spending that much on a vac, when we can get one from Godfreys for under a 1000 that does very similar.

Anyway, as I was saying. I managed to vacuum half my house and do all the washing and that was it. Did not even cook tea, ran down to the local Fish n Chip shop and had a lazy nights meal. Early start the next morning had me in bed earlier than usual. I feel old and tired this week and extremely frustrated with being so disorganized.

Had to literally boot Boo out the door on Thursday morning, so as I could head to Mums and Dads and drop off some rather large postal boxes. On arriving Dad had arranged for one of his RSL buddies to read through some paperwork and explain some things to him. I'd already done that. But can understand its hard for him to let go and allow his daughter to take over temporarily. Word from his mates is that they are just repeating what I've been saying and that Dad is starting to realize that I am thinking of his and mums needs and wants first. He actually said thanks for everything that I've done and he knows that I've achieved lots of little things, even with his pigheadedness and STML (short term memory loss). It was nice of him to acknowledge what I've been doing.

Anyway, had to rush the discussion and get to the Solicitors office. Luckily my brother had made an appearance and was at the ACC, where mum is and he brought her down. My nephews God parents were there as well and it was good to see them. She's had a major stroke and he is looking after her in the home and they are doing well. He also advices without interfering, which is great. My blood uncle says he's not interfering, but then calls my father in the late evening and says look out your daughter is taking over.

Aah excuse me! He says he knows all about Dementia. Well, if he did he'd realize that to call a person at that time of the night you'll aggravate the situation and confuse them even more. Its called 'Sundowners' for a reason. Look it up Uncle!

Anyway, I've a copy of the will now and Mum & Dad changed the PA (Power of Attorney)to solely myself and my brother as secondary. My parents are happy with what I've done so far and how I've used the system to work with us. Even though I am a impatient person by nature. Overall, it was a good outcome.

We all went out for lunch and my uncle shouted. Mum throughly enjoyed having non hospital food and virtually cleaned off her plate. Saying it was the flavor that made her hungry. It was a great meal and with great company and relaxed conversation that did not relate to what had been happening. Good on them for steering the conversation into everyday issues and allowing some of the stress to lift.

I took my mum back to ACC via Scope. Where my nephew attends and she had a visit, which also brightened her day. Though, we are aware that she feels that no one can look after him as well as she can. Which is a given, but not with the circumstances of late.

Anyway, after making apologies to the nurses for being away so long. We had the Dr's conference and Mum is defying the Dr's suggestions and so am I. She is going home to the family home. Its called aging in place and if she is happier at home then that is where she needs to be. Instead of a hostel filled with strangers. I'm frightened that if we place her in a hostel she may wither away faster.

So now the relevant services need to be vamped up and the house checked to ensure that it is safe for her to go home. But I did put her on a promise, that if there should be an instance of trouble or an accident. That I would use my PA, and have her popped into a hostel of the families choosing. Mum agreed and we all feel better. Dad is extremely pleased and said he'll pop up some xmas deco's ready for her return. I bet its only some string with the xmas cards, but its the thought that counts. So it'll be fine.

We sorted out some of the banking issues and next week, I'll be running around paying bills. This weeks I've ordered medical supplies and picked up mums xmas laybys. Also sorted through some of her castle hamper order, but left the bulk until her return home. It is after all her order and she knows who she ordered what for.

So it was little steps today that achieved a lot. Everything that was on my list to achieve for this week, in relation to my parents has been achieved. Little steps works and no pushing or badgering. Now if I could manage the same at home!

Oh my Dads coming to my place on Saturday. The excuse I've got to work all w/end and hubby needs a hand with the garden. smiles. Carols on Saturday night and I've arranged for him to attend. Lots of our cousins will be fronting up and it'll do him good to have a break from the traveling to and from the hospital. Hubby said he'll take him home after the event, if dad felt up to it.

So I'm hoping for a good night, even though I'm working.

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

RW Intrudes

Well I went back to work for respite and to earn an income to keep my own families sanity and normality. 44 hours worked over the w/end. Not the normal hours for this f/night and well it happens. We'll just have to pull in the purse strings a little tighter.

My employer has been wonderful through all of my families disruptions and accommodating my needs to be at regular Drs conferences, Solicitor visits, Hostel visits and the like. Two days off in a row, now that will great. One for personal home duties and one for dealing with my parents and everything else that relates to them.

Hubby and Boo brought home a male kitten for me last night. He's black, grey and white, short haired and good tempered. I watched him for five minutes and named him dragon. He sleeps with his front paws crossed and his chin resting on them. So cute. Today he's been exploring and leaving me little treasures to clean up. But I catch him on occasion and take him to the tray. He was great last night and slept in his basket and used the tray. Glad he's partially trained, so it should not take too long.

Dragon follows me from room to room and if I disappear he meows calling for me. When I reply he comes running. Now he's sitting behind me and having a nap. Until I move, unless is a sound nap. Which won't surprise me as I've plaited some army bootlaces together for him to play with and given him two beanie pal toys and a soft ball. I can say he loves playing with paper, so he's not going to lack in stimulation.

My phone calls revealed much and caused some angst. People I've noticed seem to contradict themselves when it comes to my father and they really dislike my pointing it out to them. Even feeling like I'm being accused for all that has happened. I know its not my fault and keep telling myself that, but its hard at times when you feel so helpless.

My brother yelled at me over the phone the other night and I thundered right back, then my uncle all but tells me I have no clue on how things are to be handled and that he knows more than I do. Saying that his not interfering, then turns around and tells me that he's instructed my father not to sign anything, unless he is aware of it first. Aahh, excuse me! I have PA (Power of Attorney) along with my brother. Though granted he's not aware of that yet. I don't feel that he needs to know and if he's not interfering, then what is it that he is doing? He wants me to keep him updated with what I'm doing. Not happening until after the fact and then I'll use discretion in keeping him informed.

I've app's with the Drs, solicitors and Hostels over the next few weeks and am even going to a separate accountant to ensure that everything is being handled in the correct legal manner. Things are moving in a frustratingly slow manner, so I've called my boss to make sure that my mind is kept occupied with work and he's doing what he can.

Hubby did his best with maintaining the house and garden. He killed two house plants with over watering. Then some how managed to turn ink stained shirts yellow. Plus he forgot to check the fridge for old food items.

Away two weeks and its going to take me four to get the house back on par. My par that is. LOL. But it will keep me busy in between everything else that I have need to do.

Apologies to the powers of Mernac. I'll be back once this rocky road has leveled out, as each little bump is removed, I'll try to write and participate as much as I can. Thanks for the patience, its greatly appreciated and I do miss ya all and well Anemo is driving me crazy at times. So I had better do something to hold her at bay. Grin.

Thanks for reading, please feel free to leave me comments, they are appreciated.


RW Intrudes

Boo has been forced to grow up very quickly with these events. I've tried (as all parents do) to shield him. But he also needs to see and hear what is happening. I believe and feel that in his personal growth process, this will assist him to understand that sometimes decisions need to be made for the over all good of our elders. It is my hope that in his witnessing as much as he can that when he grows into adulthood he'll be a little more prepared and feel as if he has been thrown into the very deep end of an adult pool. Also that he will become a responsible teenager and adult.

He's wanting to go back to school now. Saying that he actually misses it and his friends. Which is good as I've now had the chance to recoup myself and implement some services for my Father. Just waiting on some legal advice about my Uncle that has good intentions, but is perceived as meddling.

My employers have been exceptionally understanding and made roster allowances for me to be at the weekly Dr's conference and attend to my own h/work. Two days in a row off...yippee its been a long time.
I might even be able to pop the Xmas tree up and decorate the front window a little. Even at Mums and Dads with their permission of course.

Had a discussion with my brother that had a little firmness in it. He yelled at me so I thundered right back and he stopped dead in his tracks as I hardly ever yell and well he knows the windows rattle when I do. It caught his self centered attention and made him realize that we have to be adults and not think about what we want. He owes my parents a considerable amount of money and was trying to deny it. But he's been set straight now and knows he has to start making some sort of token repayments or he'll loose out in a big way. Not that there will be anything left, I told my parents to spend the inheritance, but allocate some to my disabled siblings and nephew. Hence waiting for the ph call.

RW Intrudes

Boo, has been an amazing 11 year old through all this. As he is a child, he is usually forgotten in the adult rush and sits quietly at arms reach from either myself or Nan. He listens and then when everything is quiet he pipes up with his views and sometimes quiet vehemently. He's shed tears for his beautiful Nan and has told me now that he understands a little more about what is happening to the grumpy old fart. (His words) It broke my heart when he said he once hated his grandfather, but is now proud of him and sad about what this insidious dis-ease has done to what was once a big strong man.
He said one night "What about me and what I'd like?" My father and I turned and looked at him questioning.
We had been discussing what should happen in the advent of their deaths and who she receive what.

He took his grandfather by the hand and said "G'dad, I'd like two photos." Dragging G'dad to the images. He pointed at one of my parents in their earlier years of his young memories and another on their 55th wedding anniversary. They've been married for 57 years this year.
G'dad said they are yours lad and Boos smiled. "G'dad, I'd also like something special from you and from nan."
G'dad said 'Ok' and walked into his bedroom. There was a lot of mumbling and banging, before he came out and handed my little Boo a watch. "Here you go lad, ths watch was one of my first and now its yours." Boo was pleased and checked the watch over, surprised to find it still worked. He wears it all the time and when G'dad got lost for two hours (He said he was not lost he knew where he was, we just did not.) Boo held it and kept saying show up Pop. He believes that it helped locate G'dad. As he turned up 5 minutes later.

Boo was poking around Nan's room, he spends a lot of time sitting in her room and touching her stuff. Not breaking anything, he is very tender when handling he pretties. When he came out with a small ring, he said look it fits my finger. I and G'dad let him wear it. Later when we saw Nan, he showed her and she told him that he could keep it and the mate to it. Both are just mood rings that Nan liked to wear on occasion, and they are what he saw on her fingers, he treasures these things and gets frantic if he can't locate them.

I think he likes being in Nans room as he feels at ease with her scents and presence. He even took to sleeping atop her bed. Saying that it was soft and comfy, like Nan. Strange to see a gangly child, arms and legs akimbo, stretched out across the Hobbits bed. But sleeping soundly. He said he has been sleeping more restfully in her room, so we have allowed him that small comfort.

Ok, I'm done. The memories have made me smile and I need to make phone calls.